Light at the end of the tunnel

Well today is a new day and I feel pretty darn good! I haven't felt this good in a really long time actually. I want to get out of the house, go pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy, maybe do a little shopping too. I sort of feel like having home made subs tonight. We'll see, Ill probably change my mind before I even get to the store lol

So my doctor visit went well yesterday. I love my doctor by the way. I didn't know if I would or not, but she has proven to be very thorough and very attentive with my medications and answers all my questions well. She cares and it shows. She raised the dose of Celexa to 30 mg. I fell asleep last night it was wonderful. Last few days was hard to fall asleep. Today I feel mentally and physically better really. It must be getting into my system now. I want to smile, I want to do things, I want to laugh and have a good time! Yes it's working :) I think I'm in love with Celexa right now.

She added a new medication to my list. A diabetes medication, Amaryl. I haven't taken this one before and like always, Ill be leary taking a new medication. I don't like taking medications to begin with. I have to keep in mind that I trust my doctor. I guess I'm always paranoid about the side effects of medications especially if I haven't heard much about them. Like I'm going to have those side effects and then I'm going to die lol I need to relax I know!

So now I'm on Celexa, Synthroid, Amaryl and Ativan (for the occasional panic attack). She also wants me on a multivitamin to get my calcium and vitamin d, so Ill be picking one up today when I pick up my prescriptions.

In general, I feel great today. I feel like there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel. Like its the first day of spring and the sun is shining for the first time in 6 months. It feels great to feel great! I'm loving this feeling :)

I hope you all have a great of a day as I am having!

Day Twelve

Hi everyone. Well it's been 12 days I have been on Celexa. I'm falling asleep with no problems and sleeping well. It takes an unusual amount of time for me to wake up or to feel like I'm awake. I have had no panic attacks in the last 12 days although on 2 occasions I felt very edgy and anxious, I still have not had to take the Adavant which is supposed to be similar to Xanax. I still don't feel like myself. I go through the motions during the day but its as if its someone else and my mind is just along for the ride. I don't feel I have my energy back. My emotions still feel dull but I'm still getting irritated with things and feeling like if someone made me mad I'd jump all over them. I feel like I can't put up with anyone. Maybe that will change also I don't know. Last time I saw the doctor she talked about possibly going to 40mg if 20mg wasn't working but I think I need something different. Ill talk to her about how I'm feeling when I go in next week.

Onto other subjects!

My garden is so overgrown now but I have managed to keep the tomatoes somewhat clear, at least clear enough to go pick some just about everyday. The corn looks like I somehow stunted their growth lol Short little things they are, I have maybe 3 or 4 ears of corn about 3 or 4 inches long growing *rolling eyes* I'm not much of a corn farmer I guess! My onions are growing somewhere in the weeds lol Im going to try to get out there the next cool day we have and weed it out a bit to find the onions. I only had 2 rows so it shouldn't be too hard. I did pull one out. I thought it was going to be a decent sized onion and it was no more the size of a golf ball LOL Oh well, I chopped it up and put it into the quiche I made a couple of days ago.

My husband was playing with our cat Rufus today and so I made a video of it and put it to some really corny but catchy music and added it to Youtube.com which I tried to link here but I'm not sure if that's working well or not. Seems it keeps trying to put some random video I've never seen on there but the link I posted in today's post should work if you don't see the right video on the right side there.

Alright, I need to be off to do other things, like getting dinner together :) Hope everyone has a good week!

Oh my aching head!

Well the Celexa seem to be working for my insomnia and my panic attacks as its been 7 days today and I havent had one panic attack yet. I was anxious yesterday and today I feel very on edge though. Since starting the Celexa though, I have had a headache. Its always there, sometimes worse than other times. So I called my doctors office and talked to the nurse. My doctor is out today so she is going to talk to the nurse practitioner and ask about a medication change or what they think I should do. She is also supposed to ask if I can take some Tylenol because I'm not supposed to take certain things with Celexa.

I watched a video the other day of someone who also takes Celexa. She described her general emotions on it as "stifled" I didn't really understand what it was until now. Its like you know how you should feel but your feelings are sort of smothered. I can get angry, but not how I normally would. If something sad happened, I don't think I would be able to cry. I would just be like... numb. Thats how I'm feeling, just numb. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I can sleep and I'm extremely glad I haven't had a panic attack. But I feel numb most of the time. I can get a giggle at something but then I go back to feeling numb. My body isn't numb but my mind sort of feels that way. I know medications take a while to really get into your system and your body takes time getting used to them so I know this feeling might not last. Thats if they don't change my medication to something else.

Well just got the call back from the doctors office. I can take Tylenol yay! They said the headaches are normal and they should go away so Ill keep taking this for now and see if they go away or not. Maybe my mood will improve where I'm not feeling so out of it.

Anyway, I'm going to take some Tylenol and chill out, maybe my headache will go away. Have a great day everyone!

Seeing in color

This is Monday and I started the Celexa last Friday. Although I don't feel it has improved my mood at all, I have been sleeping which is so wonderful by itself. When you can't sleep and you haven't slept, its like you look at the world in black and white. You see everything in front of you but you're not experiencing the full effect of life. When you finally get the sleep you have been deprived from it's like seeing the world in color for the first time. Yes My mood is still depressed but I have only been on this medication for a very short time. I need to give it a chance to bring my mood up. If it doesn't, Ill have to let my doctor know I need something better than this.

Tonight I have to fast and tomorrow I go into town to have my blood drawn for cholesterol, A1C, Thyroid and whatever else she wanted to check on me. I have been controlling my diabetes with diet but the last A1C test I had was a 7. I need to bring that down a little so I need to be on medication again for it. Its a big deal in the way I don't like taking medications at all. But I realize I need to if I want to get healthy again.

On a lighter side, tomorrow is my husband's 41st birthday! For the next 2 months I can rub it in that he is older than me. My birthday is rapidly coming though this November. I hate getting older! Oh well I guess its part of the whole cycle of life. He doesn't know it but I'm throwing him a surprise party. He thinks we are just going out to eat with his parents but his whole family is going to be there, it will really give him a 'pick me up' and put a smile on his face. He deserves it. Last year on his 40th birthday we were in a crappy Motel 6 in Waco Texas. We had to evacuate the day before for a hurricane. In fact we evacuated twice that week because of hurricanes and it was part of the reason we decided to move to Michigan, besides that he is from here and his family still resides here. So today Ive been just tidying up the house here and there. I painted a butterfly and some flowers on the new mailbox. We have to put a new one up because the snowplow hit the one that's up this last winter and just recently the door decided to fall half off lol.

Alright well I better get off of here to finish my other blog and then continue getting the house ready. I hope you all have a wonderful week!