Seeing in color

This is Monday and I started the Celexa last Friday. Although I don't feel it has improved my mood at all, I have been sleeping which is so wonderful by itself. When you can't sleep and you haven't slept, its like you look at the world in black and white. You see everything in front of you but you're not experiencing the full effect of life. When you finally get the sleep you have been deprived from it's like seeing the world in color for the first time. Yes My mood is still depressed but I have only been on this medication for a very short time. I need to give it a chance to bring my mood up. If it doesn't, Ill have to let my doctor know I need something better than this.

Tonight I have to fast and tomorrow I go into town to have my blood drawn for cholesterol, A1C, Thyroid and whatever else she wanted to check on me. I have been controlling my diabetes with diet but the last A1C test I had was a 7. I need to bring that down a little so I need to be on medication again for it. Its a big deal in the way I don't like taking medications at all. But I realize I need to if I want to get healthy again.

On a lighter side, tomorrow is my husband's 41st birthday! For the next 2 months I can rub it in that he is older than me. My birthday is rapidly coming though this November. I hate getting older! Oh well I guess its part of the whole cycle of life. He doesn't know it but I'm throwing him a surprise party. He thinks we are just going out to eat with his parents but his whole family is going to be there, it will really give him a 'pick me up' and put a smile on his face. He deserves it. Last year on his 40th birthday we were in a crappy Motel 6 in Waco Texas. We had to evacuate the day before for a hurricane. In fact we evacuated twice that week because of hurricanes and it was part of the reason we decided to move to Michigan, besides that he is from here and his family still resides here. So today Ive been just tidying up the house here and there. I painted a butterfly and some flowers on the new mailbox. We have to put a new one up because the snowplow hit the one that's up this last winter and just recently the door decided to fall half off lol.

Alright well I better get off of here to finish my other blog and then continue getting the house ready. I hope you all have a wonderful week!

A new day

Well today is a new day. After my doctor appointment yesterday I was well... rather upset. I wanted to be on a different anti depressant than what I was put on. I cried last night. I talked to my mom on the phone, I miss her so much. I listened to what my mom had to say. Then I had the rest of the night to think about things. I'm going to give this medicine a chance to work. Even though I have been on much stronger in my past, this is what the doctor chose so I'm going to give it a couple of weeks and if it doesn't help things or doesn't at least help my sleeping situation like she said it would, Ill tell her I want to try something different. So for now, I'm on the weakest off all antidepressants. She also didn't give me Xanax, she gave me Ativan instead which I didn't do any research on Ativan and when I had my panic attack last night I didn't take the Ativan for it because I didn't know anything about it and therefore didn't take it, I just rode the attack out, all 3 hours of it. I have to have blood work done on Monday. I couldn't do it yesterday because I have to fast for one of the tests, cholesterol, so instead of drawing blood for my thyroid and A1C test on one day and cholesterol on another, they're doing it all Monday. So Sunday Ill be fasting and have my blood drawn Monday. I see the doctor in 2 weeks, on the 16th I think, Ill have to double check that though, it may be the 18th. Then I should have all the medications I need. At this point anyway. Unless of course she makes me continue the antidepressant to give it more time. But if it doesn't help my sleeping... OK I think I went over that already.

So last night I was able to get a little bit more sleep than I have in the last 2 weeks but I did wake up 4 times. We were supposed to go to a graduation party for my son-in-law but being on the new med, not sleeping well and just the way I'm feeling in general, we felt it wasn't the best idea for us to go. Its a 2 hour drive one way, then a ton of people I don't know and a whole bunch of children, I just don't think I could deal with that today. Plus I have this major headache which I don't know if its caused from the medication or just one of those things. I do feel bad because my step daughter is upset with us now for not coming. But I hope in time she will understand why we didn't.

Well on another note, its just another rainy icky day outside today. It was cold yesterday, cold enough for sweatshirts and long pants. Yes its summer in Northern Michigan. Today its chilly enough we are sort of bundled up and I'm thinking about what type of soup Ill make for dinner. Maybe Ill make cream of potato but I'm also thinking of making Saturday soup too. But cream of potato sounds so good doesn't it? Well whatever I decide to make for dinner Ill be sure to post it on Kel's Kitchen along with the recipe for you. The link to Kel's Kitchen is on this blog, you should check it out sometime.

Well I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off to find something to do and maybe grab a snack before getting dressed and going to the store. Until next time...